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Wheaton divorce lawyer“I want a divorce.” Those four words, small as they are, have the power to break a person’s heart or set him or her free—depending on who is saying them. When you have finally made the decision that you no longer want to be married to your spouse, it can feel like a sigh of relief. Telling your spouse about your decision, however, will likely be one of the most important, yet difficult conversations of both of your lives. The approach that you take when having this conversation could set the tone for the entire divorce and even though nobody wants to have this conversation, it is one that needs to take place. If you are thinking of separating from or divorcing your spouse, here are some things you should keep in mind:

  • Make sure you mean what you say. You should not tell your spouse that you want a divorce unless you are certain that is actually what you want. If you are unsure of whether or not you are ready for a divorce, but you know that you are unhappy, you should talk to your spouse about why you are unhappy and how it can be fixed. Once you are fairly certain you would like to proceed with a separation or divorce, then it would be appropriate to bring it up.

  • Set the scene for the conversation. Talking to your spouse about your divorce will likely be one of the most complicated conversations of your life. You should do your best not to ambush your spouse with this conversation. If you can, plan a time and a place for you and your spouse to talk. Many times, talking in the privacy of your home is the most comfortable, but if you are scared for your safety, you may want to have the conversation in a public place, such as a coffee shop, or with a friend or family member nearby.

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Naperville divorce lawyerFor decades, the United States has focused much time and energy on public awareness campaigns about the prevalence of domestic violence and what you can do if you are experiencing domestic violence in your home. Unfortunately, domestic violence still remains an issue to this day. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, there are around 12 million men and women who are victims of domestic violence each year.

When it comes to divorce or other child-related legal proceedings, situations involving accusations of domestic violence can sometimes be very volatile, and this can lead to concerns about protecting the safety of family members and providing for children's ongoing well-being. Because of this, there are a variety of complicated legal issues that may need to be addressed.

Domestic Violence and Parental Rights

During divorce cases and child custody proceedings in Illinois, the courts are of the opinion that the child’s best interests are best served if both parents play a close and continuing role in the child’s life. However, if domestic violence has occurred in the past, or if one parent believes the other parent's actions could threaten children's health and safety, the court may take steps to determine whether either parent is a threat to the child. In many cases, a guardian ad litem will be appointed to investigate the situation and offer recommendations about the decisions regarding the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time.

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Wheaton divorce lawyerFor many people, having a child and starting a family is a life goal. Having children can be extremely fulfilling, but they do not need to be taken care of forever. Eventually, children grow up and head off to college or move out of the home. During this time, many parents develop feelings of loss and emptiness. These feelings have been named “empty nest syndrome,” and they can lead to a great deal of stress for many parents that can affect their marriages. It is not uncommon for couples to have marital issues after their children have left the home. In some cases, the issues in the marriage could lead to a divorce.

What Is Empty Nest Syndrome?

If you have children, you have spent years, even decades, dedicating yourself to them. You took care of them while they were babies, helped them through the tough adolescent years, and guided them through heartbreak and other difficulties as teenagers. Now, they are ready to leave the home and explore the world. You are left behind, with the same home, same life, and same spouse, and you may struggle to adjust to your children being gone. The feeling of loss and emptiness that you may experience is known as empty nest syndrome.

Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome

When your last child has left the home, you may begin to focus more on your spouse, for better or for worse. In some cases, there may have been issues present throughout the marriage that you never had time to address. Now that you have the time, the issues can seem even more intense and problematic. You and your spouse may have grown apart during the years of your marriage, focusing all of your time on your children and not enough time on each other. In this type of situation, you may feel as if you do not even know who your spouse is anymore. Feeling the effects of empty nest syndrome does not have to result in divorce, but it can often highlight issues that are already present in your marriage. If you are unable to resolve these issues, divorce may ultimately be your best option.

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Wheaton prenuptial agreement lawyerPrenuptial agreements have historically been considered taboo. After all, who plans their divorce before they are even married? In recent years, prenups have become increasingly popular and are no longer just for celebrities. Couples from all walks of life have begun to recognize how a prenuptial agreement could be beneficial to their marriage and peace of mind. In the event that you do get divorced, a prenuptial agreement acts as the framework for the divorce agreement, making the entire legal side of the divorce process easier.

A Prenup Cannot Include the Following

If you end up getting divorced, your prenuptial agreement will save you some time, as long as your agreement is valid. However, there are certain things that you cannot include in a prenuptial agreement for it to be considered legally valid. If your prenup is found to include some of these details, the court can decide to throw out the invalid parts, or the entire agreement may be considered invalid. Here are a few things that cannot be included in Illinois prenuptial agreements:

  • Anything concerning parental rights or child support: One topic that is always off-limits with prenuptial agreements is your children. You cannot address the allocation of parental responsibilities or child support in a prenup, because you cannot predict what will be best for your child in the future. If you do get divorced, and you have children, the court will determine child support and allocate parental rights based on what is in the child's best interests at the present time.

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Naperville divorce lawyerThere are many reasons that a marriage can end in divorce. Some couples may find that they want different things in life or that they are not happy together anymore. Other couples may become so distant with each other that one spouse strays outside of their marriage. However, that is not the only sex-related issue that can lead to divorce. In some cases, sexual dysfunction can also be a reason for the split.

Understanding Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction can occur with either spouse, though many falsely believe that this is only experienced by males. Sometimes, sexual dysfunction can manifest in men if they have difficulty or inability to maintain an erection. Women may experience pain during intercourse, making it unbearable to have relations with their partner. Sexual dysfunction can be difficult for many couples to deal with and it can often cause other issues in the marriage. If either spouse is experiencing sexual dysfunction, it can lead to a pattern of anxiety, avoidance, or abstinence from sex, damaging the marriage in the process.

Sex serves as a way to bond with your partner, and it helps develop feelings of intimacy and comfort. When you and your partner are experiencing sexual dysfunction, it can be difficult to maintain those feelings. This can cause both partners to become frustrated, sad, or even angry. The partner experiencing the problem may feel too embarrassed to seek help and guilty for not doing so. The partner without the problem may feel guilty for asking for sex or angry for not being able to maintain an active sex life. If the abstinence continues for a long period of time, it can cause emotional detachment or apathy, which can lead to divorce.

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